alwaysme: (waking me up)
Jinx ([personal profile] alwaysme) wrote in [community profile] diademlogs2025-06-08 11:01 pm

I was painting a picture [closed]

Who: Vi, Jack Kline, Jonathan Strange
Where: various
When: Throughout the month
What: TDM threads continued

Warnings: suicidal ideation, self-worth, and possible mental instability, marked on thread



And for a moment I thought you were here
But then again, it wasn't true, down
And all this time I have been lying
Oh, lying in secret to myself
I've been putting sorrow on the farthest place on my shelf
And I was running far away
Would I run off the world someday?
viceps: (107)

[personal profile] viceps 2025-06-15 08:14 am (UTC)(link)
[ Everything freezes. The building, the world, slides away. With it go the panic, and even that uncomfortable sensation of being watched, the instinct that prickles at the back of her neck in warning. For a moment, it all quiets.

She's real.

Vi throws herself forward, wordlessly wrapping both arms around her sister in a too-tight embrace. ]
viceps: (73)

[personal profile] viceps 2025-06-22 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It takes a long moment -- shoulders shaking with her ragged, half-sobbed breaths -- for Vi finally to pull back just enough. One hand on Jinx's shoulder, the other cups her cheek.

If she registers the questions, she doesn't seem to care to answer them right now. Her voice is ragged, tears brimming bright. ]


I thought I'd lost you...

[ Vi is so focused on her sister's face, she doesn't notice the way the water swirls upward, the way the shadows encroach. Lights begin to turn off far down the hallway, ominously flickering to bring the darkness closer and closer with each. ]
viceps: (20)

[personal profile] viceps 2025-06-28 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Wh--?

[ It takes her a second to understand what Jinx means, to parse the words when all she can think is here, alive, not dead, here, with me. How long has it been for her? Since she...

Fell.

Before Vi can answer or ask any questions of her own, the lights shut off in the hallway just behind Jinx, plunging everything beyond into darkness. The light above them flickers.

A sudden, urgent sense of dread grips Vi, finally shoving through her relief and interrupting their moment. They can't do this here. ]


W-we have to go.

Come on. [ Grabbing Jinx's wrist, Vi tugs her toward the exit, just as the lights above them die. ]
viceps: (48)

[personal profile] viceps 2025-07-11 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
[ The silence grows somehow more ominous, heavy, so loud it hurts. It's only their breathing, their footsteps swallowed up as they run. The feeling of something crawling up the back of her neck starts to coalesce into a sensation almost like fingers, something grabbing, tugging.

An animal panic yanks Vi forward, and her grip on her sister's wrist tightens to the point of being painful, but she can't -- she will not -- risk letting go (again).

She only grunts in response to the comment about the car, knowing her bike is somewhere around here too. But fuck it, she can find it once they're out of this horrid building (or not, and it won't matter as long as Jinx is here).

Time seems to stretch too far, but in truth, it's probably less than a minute to make it out. Vi shoves open the door, leaving another bloody handprint in her wake, and they burst through into the open air.

She runs a little farther, stumbling as the weight of whatever dread filled that building lifts suddenly. When she looks back, the lights have all mysteriously popped back on, brighter than ever. As if beckoning.

Vi lets out a long, loud breath. She still hasn't let go of Jinx's wrist. ]
viceps: (24)

[personal profile] viceps 2025-07-11 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
[ It takes a moment too long. Her fingers tighten at first, instinctively-- but then her sister's voice breaks through. Vi catches herself, catches her breath also, and finally loosens her grip.

But if Jinx tries to step away, she will move closer again. She will reach out, trying to touch her face, her hair. ]


Are you okay?
viceps: (109)

[personal profile] viceps 2025-07-11 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
[ Vi's thumb strokes her cheek, pushes the wet hair back. She leans in close, and Jinx will be able to see the tears filling her eyes, shining and watery without quite falling. ]

I'm sorry. [ Vi whispers.

And hugs her again, tight but at the same time gentle, cradling her sister's head against her shoulder while Jinx's already soaked hair absorbs her tears. ]
viceps: (21)

[personal profile] viceps 2025-07-11 05:29 am (UTC)(link)
[ Everything. Losing her sister, letting go (even though it wasn't her choice, Vi wondered every day what she could have done differently). And before that, all the times she hadn't listened, all those days spent apart. The night everything went wrong and she said those words she's regretted ever since.

She'd thought she'd lost her sister for good this time. She'd grieved. And at the same time, some small, awful part of her had been--

No, not relieved. But perhaps ready to face a new life. Ready to entertain the idea of moving on. At least, wanting to be ready to do that. She'd greeted those new days slowly, with a growing, tentative hope and with Caitlyn by her side. The thought of rebuilding.

And now, instead, they're here. What else is Vi supposed to say? What can she possibly do?

When she'd woken up here, Vi realized she had truly, finally lost everything.

That isn't the case anymore. ]


Y-yeah. I'm okay, Powder. We're both going to be okay.

[ Even if she still slips up sometimes. ]
viceps: (108)

[personal profile] viceps 2025-07-11 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
[ She moves her arm just enough to quickly wipe the heel of her palm across her face while Jinx still can't quite see it. Then, finally, Vi pulls back enough to look at her. ]

H-how... how long have you been here?

[ Jinx is right, of course. Vi forces herself to remember where they actually are. The building had been unstable enough on its own, and it's true the danger might not be over. She glances around, clocks the other vehicle. It doesn't suit her sister at all, but there's nothing else around. ]

After you fell--

What happened?
viceps: (9)

[personal profile] viceps 2025-07-11 06:05 am (UTC)(link)
[ Weeks. By Vi's estimation, she's only been here a little over a week herself, but based on how much time passed back home too... it does make sense.

There's something else. In her heart, Vi knows the answer, but she has to ask. ]


And... Vander?
viceps: (5)

[personal profile] viceps 2025-07-11 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
[ Vi looks down too.

No, she doesn't believe her. She wishes she did, but she doesn't.

Vi closes her eyes for just a moment, takes a deep breath. ]


...yeah. Maybe. [ She looks back up, and tries to smile. It comes up thin and wavering, her face all smudged with tears and dried blood. ]

In the meantime, at least we're together, right?
viceps: (4)

[personal profile] viceps 2025-07-11 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
[ For the first time since she arrived in this forsaken place, alone and scared and angry, something finally feels... good. Like it really might be okay, after all.

Something in the pit of her stomach loosens up. The tension in her shoulders eases, just a little.

Vi laughs. It's soft and breathy, but it's there, and it's real, and the look that crosses her eyes is equal parts relief and surprise.

She can't believe Jinx is actually asking her this. Vi won't waste this chance. ]


Absolutely. To be honest, I haven't really found a place... just been staying in a literal hole that's got a mattress shoved inside. Worst hotel I've ever seen.

We'll find somewhere a little bigger.

[ Are they really going to be... together? ]