[ Charles is sorry to hear it too. It's difficult to imagine being that far from Raven but he also never thought he'd spend an entire decade without her nearby either. Now he is trying his best not to cling too closely to her out of fear it will make her wriggle away.
Charles studies Erik since he's not drinking and staring across the room, clearly caught up in his own mind. Perhaps this did harm him more than he wants to admit, and it makes Charles concerned. ]
Yes, my future self is apparently a picture of perfection. He always knows the right thing to say and do, the right way to be a leader and father. Sounds so terribly like me, I know.
[ His tone has an undercurrent of bitterness to it and at least for Erik it might not be hard to understand why. Charles doesn't feel that way about himself right now. He's gone through years of being a disappointment to himself and Hank and the rest of the world, and wallowing in self-pity and misery alone in his mansion. To know that eventually he gets his shit together and becomes the leader he was supposed to be is gratifying, yes, but it also feels far away from who he is right now. ]
I feel like I'm making it up most of the time, I don't know how to be that person for them.
[ Erik is one of the few people who Charles can express this to in the more frustrated way that he feels. Because he's trying to keep it together for everyone else and seem like he can handle it, albeit with some weak moments from him in the start. But it's difficult not to feel like he's a fake. Masquerading as a man that they all love and respect, and here he is woefully inadequate for the job. He would rather hide in a fancy resort and drink in Hawaiian shirts than deal with reality all the time. That right there already sets him apart. ]
no subject
Charles studies Erik since he's not drinking and staring across the room, clearly caught up in his own mind. Perhaps this did harm him more than he wants to admit, and it makes Charles concerned. ]
Yes, my future self is apparently a picture of perfection. He always knows the right thing to say and do, the right way to be a leader and father. Sounds so terribly like me, I know.
[ His tone has an undercurrent of bitterness to it and at least for Erik it might not be hard to understand why. Charles doesn't feel that way about himself right now. He's gone through years of being a disappointment to himself and Hank and the rest of the world, and wallowing in self-pity and misery alone in his mansion. To know that eventually he gets his shit together and becomes the leader he was supposed to be is gratifying, yes, but it also feels far away from who he is right now. ]
I feel like I'm making it up most of the time, I don't know how to be that person for them.
[ Erik is one of the few people who Charles can express this to in the more frustrated way that he feels. Because he's trying to keep it together for everyone else and seem like he can handle it, albeit with some weak moments from him in the start. But it's difficult not to feel like he's a fake. Masquerading as a man that they all love and respect, and here he is woefully inadequate for the job. He would rather hide in a fancy resort and drink in Hawaiian shirts than deal with reality all the time. That right there already sets him apart. ]