Some things are just instinct, no matter how you've been conditioned and what's happened in life; the way the body reacts maybe before thoughts in the mind catch up. And seeing Jack's eyes shift like that, it has him more alert, more cautious, like hackles going up and being ready to make a move if he needs to. But Amos is different, too, in the way any fear that might be a natural response is just — not close enough to be felt, separated from him. Amos wouldn't have made it long if he couldn't quickly figure out when he's in danger himself and needs to act, or he can just observe, so despite Jack saying he's dangerous and now answering his question with a demonstration of exactly what he meant by that — Amos doesn't feel like he's at any actual risk of harm.
What he does get from this, though, is a very clear answer, an obvious reason Jack could easily hurt someone, many someones, in just a flash. Quick as that. Like a switch turning on and off, maybe. Something he has to control, like he said — he has to know he's dangerous, that he could do these things, and he needs to keep himself in check. There's something he understands deeply about that, even if the reasons and circumstances are completely different.
Like — Jack being the son of the Devil, apparently. Shit, well, no other origin story exactly compares to that. Religion isn't something Amos has ever bothered with personally, but he has a passing understanding of the overall concepts. It's fucking wild for this to be real, like not just myths and shit in stories. Or, real enough for Jack. And how could Amos refute what he's seeing in front of him? The instinct to say things like angels and devils and vampires were all just stories is in the back of his mind, and he might have pushed back once before all the shit he's lived through recently. Other worlds are out there, and he doesn't have a single clue what exists on all the other worlds beyond his frame of reference, so it might as well be possible.
"Shit, so —" He lets out a breath, his tense jaw loosening. When he sees Jack's eyes go back to his normal blue, he thinks again about the stuff he's done, the way he can snap in a moment, be pulled back, and feel — so much of the time — nothing. Not regret for bashing a man's head with a can, punching a guy's throat to get information out of him, beating some guys in the shower when that swell of grief over Lydia's death was a thing he couldn't handle in a normal way, the way it just burned and burned his throat and he had to get that feeling out. And when he did, he felt better, and so there's this monster in him, too, this possibility of danger. It's not a struggle for him, in the sense that he knows he's not a good person, he's accepted that, but what he does struggle with is trying to do the good thing, the right thing, the choices that don't come naturally to him. It makes it harder when he can't feel the way other people feel and that can't be fixed, he thinks. Whatever Jack thinks of himself, he can feel so much more than Amos can. From that angle, at least to Amos, that makes him think Jack has less to fear about himself than he might realize. But he also thinks he can understand some of what might be churning around inside of him.
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What he does get from this, though, is a very clear answer, an obvious reason Jack could easily hurt someone, many someones, in just a flash. Quick as that. Like a switch turning on and off, maybe. Something he has to control, like he said — he has to know he's dangerous, that he could do these things, and he needs to keep himself in check. There's something he understands deeply about that, even if the reasons and circumstances are completely different.
Like — Jack being the son of the Devil, apparently. Shit, well, no other origin story exactly compares to that. Religion isn't something Amos has ever bothered with personally, but he has a passing understanding of the overall concepts. It's fucking wild for this to be real, like not just myths and shit in stories. Or, real enough for Jack. And how could Amos refute what he's seeing in front of him? The instinct to say things like angels and devils and vampires were all just stories is in the back of his mind, and he might have pushed back once before all the shit he's lived through recently. Other worlds are out there, and he doesn't have a single clue what exists on all the other worlds beyond his frame of reference, so it might as well be possible.
"Shit, so —" He lets out a breath, his tense jaw loosening. When he sees Jack's eyes go back to his normal blue, he thinks again about the stuff he's done, the way he can snap in a moment, be pulled back, and feel — so much of the time — nothing. Not regret for bashing a man's head with a can, punching a guy's throat to get information out of him, beating some guys in the shower when that swell of grief over Lydia's death was a thing he couldn't handle in a normal way, the way it just burned and burned his throat and he had to get that feeling out. And when he did, he felt better, and so there's this monster in him, too, this possibility of danger. It's not a struggle for him, in the sense that he knows he's not a good person, he's accepted that, but what he does struggle with is trying to do the good thing, the right thing, the choices that don't come naturally to him. It makes it harder when he can't feel the way other people feel and that can't be fixed, he thinks. Whatever Jack thinks of himself, he can feel so much more than Amos can. From that angle, at least to Amos, that makes him think Jack has less to fear about himself than he might realize. But he also thinks he can understand some of what might be churning around inside of him.
"You're carryin' all that, every day."